Describe a good friend who is important to you.
Notes
You should say:
Who he/she is
How/Where you got to know him/her
How long you have known each other
And explain why he/she is important to you
Right, let me talk about Tom, a senior PhD in my lab at my university in Beijing. We first met during the second week of my master’s orientation, when I, you know, accidentally vented a vacuum chamber. He didn’t scold me; instead, he walked me through the protocols step by step. We’ve known each other for almost four years.
We ran late-night cryostat calibrations, co-authored a poster on thin-film superconductors, and attended weekly journal clubs together. He also taught me LaTeX conventions and some neat Python tricks for data cleaning. To be honest, what I value most is his intellectual humility—he’ll say, “Let’s test that assumption,” rather than pretending to know everything.
Why is he important to me? Well, or rather, he provides both technical guidance and pastoral support. When my first experiment failed after months of effort, he helped me reframe the setback as part of the research process, which seriously reduced my anxiety. He also encouraged me to apply for a summer programme, and his reference made a difference. I suppose that combination of methodological rigor, emotional steadiness, and genuine generosity is rare. At the end of the day, I’m grateful—and when I recall those 2 a.m. coffee breaks in the lab (smile), I feel supported and motivated to hold myself to a higher standard.
Right, let me talk about Tom, a senior PhD in my lab at my university in Beijing.
/raɪt let miː tɔːk əˈbaʊt tɒm eɪ ˈsiː.ni.ə ˌpiː.eɪtʃˈdiː ɪn maɪ læb æt maɪ ˌjuː.nɪˈvɜː.sə.ti ɪn ˌbeɪˈdʒɪŋ/
We first met during the second week of my master’s orientation, when I, you know, accidentally vented a vacuum chamber.
/wiː fɜːst met ˈdʒʊə.rɪŋ ðə ˈsek.ənd wiːk ɒv maɪ ˈmɑː.stəz ˌɔː.ri.enˈteɪ.ʃən wen aɪ juː nəʊ ˌæk.sɪˈden.təl.i ˈven.tɪd eɪ ˈvæk.juː.əm ˈtʃeɪm.bə/
He didn’t scold me; instead, he walked me through the protocols step by step.
/hiː ˈdɪd.ənt skəʊld miː ɪnˈsted hiː wɔːkt miː θruː ðə ˈprəʊ.tə.kɒlz step baɪ step/
We’ve known each other for almost four years.
/wiːv nəʊn iːtʃ ˈʌð.ə fɔːr ˈɔːl.məʊst fɔː jɪəz/
We ran late-night cryostat calibrations, co-authored a poster on thin-film superconductors, and attended weekly journal clubs together.
/wiː ræn leɪt naɪt ˈkraɪ.ə.stæt ˌkæl.ɪˈbreɪ.ʃənz kəʊ ˈɔː.θəd eɪ ˈpəʊ.stə ɒn θɪn fɪlm ˌsuː.pə.kənˈdʌk.təz ænd əˈten.dɪd ˈwiːk.li ˈdʒɜː.nəl klʌbz təˈɡeð.ə/
He also taught me LaTeX conventions and some neat Python tricks for data cleaning.
/hiː ˈɔːl.səʊ tɔːt miː ˈleɪteks kənˈven.ʃənz ænd sʌm niːt ˈpaɪ.θɒn trɪks fɔː ˈdeɪ.tə ˈkliː.nɪŋ/
To be honest, what I value most is his intellectual humility—he’ll say, “Let’s test that assumption,” rather than pretending to know everything.
/tuː biː ˈɒn.ɪst wɒt aɪ ˈvæl.juː məʊst ɪz hɪz ˌɪn.təlˈek.tʃu.əl hjuːˈmɪləti hiːl seɪ lets test ðæt əˈsʌmp.ʃən ˈrɑː.ðə ðæn prɪˈten.dɪŋ tuː nəʊ ˈev.ri.θɪŋ/
Well, or rather, he provides both technical guidance and pastoral support.
/wel ɔː ˈrɑː.ðə hiː prəˈvaɪdz bəʊθ ˈtek.nɪ.kəl ˈɡaɪ.dəns ænd ˈpɑː.stər.əl səˈpɔːt/
When my first experiment failed after months of effort, he helped me reframe the setback as part of the research process, which seriously reduced my anxiety.
/wen maɪ fɜːst ɪkˈsper.ɪ.mənt feɪld ˈɑːf.tə mʌnθs ɒv ˈef.ət hiː helpt miː ˌriːˈfreɪm ðə ˈset.bæk æz pɑːt ɒv ðə rɪˈsɜːtʃ ˈprəʊ.ses wɪtʃ ˈsɪə.ri.əs.li rɪˈdjuːst maɪ æŋˈzaɪ.ə.ti/
He also encouraged me to apply for a summer programme, and his reference made a difference.
/hiː ˈɔːl.səʊ ɪnˈkʌr.ɪdʒd miː tuː əˈplaɪ fɔː eɪ ˈsʌm.ə ˈprəʊ.ɡræm ænd hɪz ˈref.ər.əns meɪd eɪ ˈdɪf.ər.əns/
I suppose that combination of methodological rigor, emotional steadiness, and genuine generosity is rare.
/aɪ səˈpəʊz ðæt ˌkɒm.bɪˈneɪ.ʃən ɒv ˌmeθədəˈlɒdʒɪkl ˈrɪɡ.ə ɪˈməʊ.ʃən.əl ˈsted.i.nəs ænd ˈdʒen.ju.ɪn ˌdʒen.əˈrɒs.ɪ.ti ɪz reə/
At the end of the day, I’m grateful—and when I recall those 2 a.m. coffee breaks in the lab, I feel supported and motivated to hold myself to a higher standard.
/æt ðiː end ɒv ðiː deɪ aɪm ˈɡreɪt.fəl ænd wen aɪ rɪˈkɔːl ðəʊz tuː eɪ em ˈkɒf.i breɪks ɪn ðə læb smaɪl aɪ fiːl səˈpɔː.tɪd ænd ˈməʊ.tɪ.veɪ.tɪd tuː həʊld maɪˈself tuː eɪ ˈhaɪ.ə ˈstæn.dəd/
Part3
Notes
- How do children make friends at school?
- How do children make friends when they are not at school?
- Do you think it is better for children to have a few close friends or many casual friends?
- Do you think a child's relationship with friends can be replaced by that with other people, like parents or other family members?
- What are the differences between friends made inside and outside the workplace?
- Do you think it's possible for bosses and their employees to become friends?
How do children make friends at school?
I think children bond through repeated joint activity. When they sit in the same row, work on cooperative tasks, or play on the same team, proximity and shared goals create familiarity which, you know, lowers social barriers. In our uni’s science-outreach days, I helped run a simple Lego-robotics station for a primary school; the kids who debugged one another’s code built trust faster than those working alone. Teachers can scaffold collaboration—clear roles, turn-taking, and debriefs—so that success feels collective rather than competitive. At the end of the day, friendship grows from mutual assistance, honesty, and predictable behaviour, not just from chatting at recess.
I think children bond through repeated joint activity.
/ aɪ θɪŋk ˈtʃɪl.drən bɒnd θruː rɪˈpiː.tɪd dʒɔɪnt ækˈtɪv.ɪ.ti /
When they sit in the same row, work on cooperative tasks, or play on the same team, proximity and shared goals create familiarity which, you know, lowers social barriers.
/ wen ðeɪ sɪt ɪn ðə seɪm rəʊ wɜːk ɒn kəʊˈɒp.ər.ə.tɪv tɑːsks ɔː pleɪ ɒn ðə seɪm tiːm prɒkˈsɪm.ɪ.ti ænd ʃeəd ɡəʊlz kriˈeɪt fəˌmɪl.iˈær.ə.ti wɪtʃ juː nəʊ ˈləʊ.əz ˈsəʊ.ʃəl ˈbær.i.əz /
In our uni’s science-outreach days, I helped run a simple Lego-robotics station for a primary school; the kids who debugged one another’s code built trust faster than those working alone.
/ ɪn ˈaʊə ˈjuː.niz ˈsaɪ.əns ˈaʊt.riːtʃ deɪz aɪ helpt rʌn eɪ ˈsɪm.pəl ˈleɡ.əʊ rəʊˈbɒt.ɪks ˈsteɪ.ʃən fɔː eɪ ˈpraɪ.mər.i skuːl ðə kɪdz huː ˌdiːˈbʌɡd wʌn əˈnʌð.əz kəʊd bɪlt trʌst ˈfɑː.stə ðæn ðəʊz ˈwɜː.kɪŋ əˈləʊn /
Teachers can scaffold collaboration—clear roles, turn-taking, and debriefs—so that success feels collective rather than competitive.
/ ˈtiː.tʃəz kæn ˈskæf.əʊld kəˌlæb.əˈreɪ.ʃən klɪə rəʊlz tɜːn ˈteɪ.kɪŋ ænd ˌdiːˈbriːfs səʊ ðæt səkˈses fiːlz kəˈlek.tɪv ˈrɑː.ðə ðæn kəmˈpet.ɪ.tɪv /
At the end of the day, friendship grows from mutual assistance, honesty, and predictable behaviour, not just from chatting at recess.
/ æt ðiː end ɒv ðiː deɪ ˈfrend.ʃɪp ɡrəʊz frɒm ˈmjuː.tʃu.əl əˈsɪs.təns ˈɒn.ə.sti ænd prɪˈdɪk.tə.bəl bɪˈheɪ.vjə nɒt dʒʌst frɒm ˈtʃæt.ɪŋ æt ˈriː.ses /
How do children make friends when they are not at school?
I think children make friends through structured extracurriculars—sports teams, music schools, coding clubs, even weekend makerspace workshops. Because there’s repeated contact and a shared objective, cooperation becomes the default, which, you know, lowers social distance. I sometimes volunteer at a small star-gazing night run by our physics department; kids who align the telescope together and swap notes on the Moon’s craters build rapport very quickly. Teachers and coaches can set norms—turn-taking, giving credit, basic conflict resolution—so shy children are not crowded out. At the end of the day, joint problem-solving and predictable routines create trust, and trust is the raw material of friendship outside school.
I think children make friends through structured extracurriculars—sports teams, music schools, coding clubs, even weekend makerspace workshops.
/aɪ θɪŋk ˈtʃɪl.drən meɪk frendz θruː ˈstrʌk.tʃəd ˌek.strə.kəˈrɪk.jʊ.ləz spɔːts tiːmz ˈmjuː.zɪk skuːlz ˈkəʊ.dɪŋ klʌbz ˈiː.vən ˈwiːk.end ˈmeɪ.kə.speɪs ˈwɜːk.ʃɒps/
Because there’s repeated contact and a shared objective, cooperation becomes the default, which, you know, lowers social distance.
/bɪˈkɒz ðeəz rɪˈpiː.tɪd ˈkɒn.tækt ænd eɪ ʃeəd əbˈdʒek.tɪv kəʊˌɒp.ərˈeɪ.ʃən bɪˈkʌmz ðə dɪˈfɒlt wɪtʃ juː nəʊ ˈləʊ.əz ˈsəʊ.ʃəl ˈdɪs.təns/
I sometimes volunteer at a small star-gazing night run by our physics department; kids who align the telescope together and swap notes on the Moon’s craters build rapport very quickly.
/aɪ ˈsʌm.taɪmz ˌvɒl.ənˈtɪə æt eɪ smɔːl stɑː ˈɡeɪ.zɪŋ naɪt rʌn baɪ ˈaʊə ˈfɪz.ɪks dɪˈpɑːt.mənt kɪdz huː əˈlaɪn ðə ˈtel.ɪ.skəʊp təˈɡeð.ə ænd swɒp nəʊts ɒn ðiː muːnz ˈkreɪ.təz bɪld ræˈpɔː ˈver.i ˈkwɪk.li/
Teachers and coaches can set norms—turn-taking, giving credit, basic conflict resolution—so shy children are not crowded out.
/ˈtiː.tʃəz ænd ˈkəʊ.tʃɪz kæn set nɔːmz tɜːn ˈteɪ.kɪŋ ˈɡɪv.ɪŋ ˈkred.ɪt ˈbeɪ.sɪk ˈkɒn.flɪkt ˌrez.əˈluː.ʃən səʊ ʃaɪ ˈtʃɪl.drən ɑː nɒt ˈkraʊ.dɪd aʊt/
At the end of the day, joint problem-solving and predictable routines create trust, and trust is the raw material of friendship outside school.
/æt ðiː end ɒv ðiː deɪ dʒɔɪnt ˈprɒb.ləm ˈsɒlv.ɪŋ ænd prɪˈdɪk.tə.bəl ruːˈtiːnz kriːˈeɪt trʌst ænd trʌst ɪz ðiː rɔː məˈtɪə.ri.əl ɒv ˈfrend.ʃɪp ˌaʊtˈsaɪd skuːl/
Do you think it is better for children to have a few close friends or many casual friends?
I think a small circle of close friends serves children better, largely because psychological safety and secure attachment are what sustain healthy development. When kids know they can confide in one or two peers without being judged, they learn emotional regulation, reciprocity, and real conflict resolution rather than surface-level politeness. In my department’s outreach to a local primary school—well, we mentor pairs during a simple balloon-rocket experiment—those who already have one trusted buddy tend to collaborate with far less anxiety and much more task focus. Casual ties are fine, but they rarely provide the continuity needed to build resilience when problems arise, say bullying or academic stress. At the end of the day, quality over quantity gives children a stable base from which they can explore the wider social world.
I think a small circle of close friends serves children better, largely because psychological safety and secure attachment are what sustain healthy development.
/aɪ θɪŋk smɔːl ˈsɜː.kəl ɒv kləʊs frendz sɜːvz ˈtʃɪl.drən ˈbet.ə ˈlɑːdʒ.li bɪˈkɒz ˌsaɪ.kəˈlɒdʒ.ɪ.kəl ˈseɪf.ti ænd sɪˈkjʊə əˈtætʃ.mənt ɑː wɒt səˈsteɪn ˈhel.θi dɪˈvel.əp.mənt/
When kids know they can confide in one or two peers without being judged, they learn emotional regulation, reciprocity, and real conflict resolution rather than surface-level politeness.
/wen kɪdz nəʊ ðeɪ kæn kənˈfaɪd ɪn wʌn ɔː tuː pɪəz wɪˈðaʊt ˈbiː.ɪŋ dʒʌdʒd ðeɪ lɜːn ɪˈməʊ.ʃən.əl ˌreɡ.jʊˈleɪ.ʃən ˌres.ɪˈprɒs.ə.ti ænd rɪəl ˈkɒn.flɪkt ˌrez.əˈluː.ʃən ˈrɑː.ðə ðæn ˈsɜː.fɪs ˈlev.əl pəˈlaɪt.nəs/
In my department’s outreach to a local primary school—well, we mentor pairs during a simple balloon-rocket experiment—those who already have one trusted buddy tend to collaborate with far less anxiety and much more task focus.
/ɪn maɪ dɪˈpɑːt.mənts ˈaʊt.riːtʃ tuː eɪ ˈləʊ.kəl ˈpraɪ.mər.i skuːl wel wiː ˈmen.tɔː peəz ˈdʒʊə.rɪŋ eɪ ˈsɪm.pəl bəˈluːn ˈrɒk.ɪt ɪkˈsper.ɪ.mənt ðəʊz huː ɔːlˈred.i hæv wʌn ˈtrʌs.tɪd ˈbʌd.i tend tuː kəˈlæb.ə.reɪt wɪð fɑː les æŋˈzaɪ.ə.ti ænd mʌtʃ mɔː tɑːsk ˈfəʊ.kəs/
Casual ties are fine, but they rarely provide the continuity needed to build resilience when problems arise, say bullying or academic stress.
/ˈkæʒ.u.əl taɪz ɑː faɪn bʌt ðeɪ ˈreə.li prəˈvaɪd ðiː ˌkɒn.tɪˈnjuː.ə.ti ˈniː.dɪd tuː bɪld rɪˈzɪl.i.əns wen ˈprɒb.ləmz əˈraɪz seɪ ˈbʊl.i.ɪŋ ɔː ˌæk.əˈdem.ɪk stres/
At the end of the day, quality over quantity gives children a stable base from which they can explore the wider social world.
/æt ðiː end ɒv ðiː deɪ ˈkwɒl.ɪ.ti ˈəʊ.və ˈkwɒn.tɪ.ti ɡɪvz ˈtʃɪl.drən eɪ ˈsteɪ.bəl beɪs frɒm wɪtʃ ðeɪ kæn ɪkˈsplɔː ðə ˈwaɪ.də ˈsəʊ.ʃəl wɜːld/
Do you think a child's relationship with friends can be replaced by that with other people, like parents or other family members?
I must say no—a child’s relationship with friends can’t really be replaced by ties with parents or relatives. Friendships provide status symmetry and room for identity formation, where children practise reciprocity, negotiation, and reputation management among equals. Family bonds are invaluable for attachment and guidance, but they’re inherently asymmetric, so some social skills just don’t get rehearsed. In our physics outreach lab, the pupils who co-design a simple bridge out of popsicle sticks learn collaborative problem-solving and conflict resolution in a way that one-on-one adult coaching never elicits. Well, parents can model civility, but peers pressure-test it. At the end of the day, family buffers stress, while friends calibrate behaviour; the functions overlap, but they are not fungible.
I must say no—a child’s relationship with friends can’t really be replaced by ties with parents or relatives.
/aɪ mʌst seɪ nəʊ eɪ tʃaɪldz rɪˈleɪ.ʃən.ʃɪp wɪð frendz kɑːnt ˈrɪə.li biː rɪˈpleɪst baɪ taɪz wɪð ˈpeə.rənts ɔː ˈrel.ə.tɪvz/
Friendships provide status symmetry and room for identity formation, where children practise reciprocity, negotiation, and reputation management among equals.
/ˈfrend.ʃɪps prəˈvaɪd ˈsteɪ.təs ˈsɪm.ɪ.tri ænd ruːm fɔː aɪˈden.tɪ.ti fɔːˈmeɪ.ʃən weə ˈtʃɪl.drən ˈpræk.tɪs ˌres.ɪˈprɒs.ə.ti nɪˌɡəʊ.ʃiˈeɪ.ʃən ænd ˌrep.jʊˈteɪ.ʃən ˈmæn.ɪdʒ.mənt əˈmʌŋ ˈiː.kwəlz/
Family bonds are invaluable for attachment and guidance, but they’re inherently asymmetric, so some social skills just don’t get rehearsed.
/ˈfæm.ɪ.li bɒndz ɑːr ɪnˈvæl.ju.ə.bəl fɔː əˈtætʃ.mənt ænd ˈɡaɪ.dəns bʌt ðeə ɪnˈhɪə.rənt.li ˌeɪ.sɪˈmet.rɪk səʊ sʌm ˈsəʊ.ʃəl skɪlz dʒʌst dəʊnt ɡet rɪˈhɜːst/
In our physics outreach lab, the pupils who co-design a simple bridge out of popsicle sticks learn collaborative problem solving and conflict resolution in a way that one on one adult coaching never elicits.
/ɪn ˈaʊə ˈfɪz.ɪks ˈaʊt.riːtʃ læb ðə ˈpjuː.pəlz huː kəʊ dɪˈzaɪn eɪ ˈsɪm.pəl brɪdʒ aʊt ɒv ˈpɒp.sɪ.kəl stɪks lɜːn kəˈlæb.ər.ə.tɪv ˈprɒb.ləm ˈsɒlv.ɪŋ ænd ˌkɒn.flɪkt ˌrez.əˈluː.ʃən ɪn eɪ weɪ ðæt wʌn ɒn wʌn ˈæd.ʌlt ˈkəʊ.tʃɪŋ ˈnev.ə ɪˈlɪs.ɪts/
Well, parents can model civility, but peers pressure-test it.
/wel ˈpeə.rənts kæn ˈmɒd.əl səˈvɪl.ə.ti bʌt pɪəz ˈpreʃ.ə test ɪt/
At the end of the day, family buffers stress, while friends calibrate behaviour; the functions overlap, but they are not fungible.
/æt ðiː end ɒv ðiː deɪ ˈfæm.ɪ.li ˈbʌf.əz stres waɪl frendz ˈkæl.ɪ.breɪt bɪˈheɪ.vjə ðə ˈfʌŋk.ʃənz ˌəʊ.vəˈlæp bʌt ðeɪ ɑː nɒt ˈfʌn.dʒə.bəl/
What are the differences between friends made inside and outside the workplace?
I think the key differences are motive, boundaries, and longevity. Work friendships are often task-based—you bond over deadlines, shared equipment, or, in my case, debugging code in the lab at midnight. Because evaluations and power dynamics are involved, people practise impression management and keep tighter disclosure boundaries. Friends outside the workplace—say, my badminton group—are formed around intrinsic interests and affinity, so the conversation is freer and the identity you present is less curated. To be honest, workplace ties can be incredibly supportive, yet they are contingent on the job structure; once a project ends, the friendship sometimes fades. At the end of the day, external friendships tend to be more portable, whereas internal ones are highly convenient but context-dependent.
I think the key differences are motive, boundaries, and longevity.
/aɪ θɪŋk ðiː kiː ˈdɪf.ər.əns.ɪz ɑː ˈməʊ.tɪv ˈbaʊn.dər.iz ænd lɒnˈdʒev.ə.ti/
Work friendships are often task-based—you bond over deadlines, shared equipment, or, in my case, debugging code in the lab at midnight.
/wɜːk ˈfrend.ʃɪps ɑːr ˈɒf.ən tɑːsk beɪst juː bɒnd ˈəʊ.və ˈded.laɪnz ʃeəd ɪˈkwɪp.mənt ɔː ɪn maɪ keɪs ˌdiːˈbʌɡ.ɪŋ kəʊd ɪn ðiː læb æt ˈmɪd.naɪt/
Because evaluations and power dynamics are involved, people practise impression management and keep tighter disclosure boundaries.
/bɪˈkɒz ɪˌvæl.juˈeɪ.ʃənz ænd ˈpaʊ.ə daɪˈnæm.ɪks ɑː ɪnˈvɒlvd ˈpiː.pəl ˈpræk.tɪs ɪmˈpreʃ.ən ˈmæn.ɪdʒ.mənt ænd ˈtaɪ.tə dɪsˈkləʊ.ʒə ˈbaʊn.dər.iz/
Friends outside the workplace—say, my badminton group—are formed around intrinsic interests and affinity, so the conversation is freer and the identity you present is less curated.
/frendz ˌaʊtˈsaɪd ðiː ˈwɜːk.pleɪs seɪ maɪ ˈbæd.mɪn.tən ɡruːp ɑː fɔːmd əˈraʊnd ɪnˈtrɪn.zɪk ˈɪn.trəsts ænd əˈfɪn.ə.ti səʊ ðiː ˌkɒn.vəˈseɪ.ʃən ɪz ˈfriː.ə ænd ðiː aɪˈden.tɪ.ti juː prɪˈzent ɪz les kjʊəˈreɪ.tɪd/
To be honest, workplace ties can be incredibly supportive, yet they are contingent on the job structure; once a project ends, the friendship sometimes fades.
/tuː biː ˈɒn.ɪst ˈwɜːk.pleɪs taɪz kæn biː ɪnˈkred.ə.bli səˈpɔː.tɪv jet ðeɪ ɑː kənˈtɪn.dʒənt ɒn ðiː dʒɒb ˈstrʌk.tʃə wʌns eɪ ˈprɒdʒ.ekt endz ðiː ˈfrend.ʃɪp ˈsʌm.taɪmz feɪdz/
At the end of the day, external friendships tend to be more portable, whereas internal ones are highly convenient but context-dependent.
/æt ðiː end ɒv ðiː deɪ ɪkˈstɜː.nəl ˈfrend.ʃɪps tend tuː biː mɔː ˈpɔː.tə.bəl weəˈræz ɪnˈtɜː.nəl wʌnz ɑː ˈhaɪ.li kənˈviː.ni.ənt bʌt ˈkɒn.tekst dɪˈpen.dənt/
Do you think it's possible for bosses and their employees to become friends?
I think it’s possible, but only under clear professional boundaries. Friendship across a power asymmetry can work when expectations are explicit—no private favours, no special access, and performance feedback documented, not whispered. In my physics lab, my supervisor and a postdoc are friendly—they play badminton together—yet he recuses himself from evaluating her fellowship application, which preserves procedural fairness. To be honest, that kind of boundary management turns a risky relationship into a mentoring alliance: higher psychological safety, better knowledge transfer, and quicker problem-solving. Well, friendship shouldn’t mean preferential treatment; it should mean trust plus accountability. At the end of the day, bosses and employees can be friends if the organisation enforces a code of conduct and both sides keep work decisions transparent and auditable.
I think it’s possible, but only under clear professional boundaries.
/aɪ θɪŋk ɪts ˈpɒs.ə.bəl bʌt ˈəʊn.li ˈʌn.də klɪə prəˈfeʃ.ən.əl ˈbaʊn.dər.iz/
Friendship across a power asymmetry can work when expectations are explicit—no private favours, no special access, and performance feedback documented, not whispered.
/ˈfrend.ʃɪp əˈkrɒs eɪ ˈpaʊ.ə eɪˈsɪm.ə.tri kæn wɜːk wen ˌek.spekˈteɪ.ʃənz ɑːr ɪkˈsplɪs.ɪt nəʊ ˈpraɪ.vət ˈfeɪ.vəz nəʊ ˈspeʃ.əl ˈæk.ses ænd pəˈfɔː.məns ˈfiːd.bæk ˈdɒk.jʊ.men.tɪd nɒt ˈwɪs.pəd/
In my physics lab, my supervisor and a postdoc are friendly—they play badminton together—yet he recuses himself from evaluating her fellowship application, which preserves procedural fairness.
/ɪn maɪ ˈfɪz.ɪks læb maɪ ˈsuː.pə.vaɪ.zə ænd eɪ ˈpəʊst.dɒk ɑː ˈfrend.li ðeɪ pleɪ ˈbæd.mɪn.tən təˈɡeð.ə jet hiː rɪˈkjuː.zɪz hɪmˈself frɒm ɪˈvæl.ju.eɪ.tɪŋ hɜː ˈfel.əʊ.ʃɪp ˌæp.lɪˈkeɪ.ʃən wɪtʃ prɪˈzɜːvz prəˈsiː.dʒə.rəl ˈfeə.nəs/
To be honest, that kind of boundary management turns a risky relationship into a mentoring alliance: higher psychological safety, better knowledge transfer, and quicker problem-solving.
/tuː biː ˈɒn.ɪst ðæt kaɪnd ɒv ˈbaʊn.dri ˈmæn.ɪdʒ.mənt tɜːnz eɪ ˈrɪs.ki rɪˈleɪ.ʃən.ʃɪp ˈɪn.tuː eɪ ˈmen.tə.rɪŋ əˈlaɪ.əns ˈhaɪ.ə ˌsaɪ.kəˈlɒdʒ.ɪ.kəl ˈseɪf.ti ˈbet.ə ˈnɒl.ɪdʒ ˈtræns.fɜː ænd ˈkwɪk.ə ˈprɒb.ləm ˈsɒlv.ɪŋ/
Well, friendship shouldn’t mean preferential treatment; it should mean trust plus accountability.
/wel ˈfrend.ʃɪp ˈʃʊd.ənt miːn ˌpref.əˈren.ʃəl ˈtriːt.mənt ɪt ʃʊd miːn trʌst plʌs əˌkaʊn.təˈbɪl.ɪ.ti/
At the end of the day, bosses and employees can be friends if the organisation enforces a code of conduct and both sides keep work decisions transparent and auditable.
/æt ðiː end ɒv ðiː deɪ ˈbɒs.ɪz ænd ˌem.plɔɪˈiːz kæn biː frendz ɪf ðiː ˌɔː.ɡə.naɪˈzeɪ.ʃən ɪnˈfɔː.sɪz eɪ kəʊd ɒv ˈkɒn.dʌkt ænd bəʊθ saɪdz kiːp wɜːk dɪˈsɪʒ.ənz trænˈspær.ənt ænd ˈɔː.dɪ.tə.bəl/
Words
| 词汇 | 音标 | 含义 |
|---|---|---|
| senior | /ˈsiːniə(r)/ | |
| orientation | /ˌɔːriənˈteɪʃ(ə)n/ | n. 目标，定位；方向，朝向；（基本的）态度，倾向；（岗前、学前、课前等的）情况介绍，培训；适应，熟悉 |
| accidentally | /ˌæksɪˈdentəli/ | adv. 意外地，偶然地； 意外失误地 |
| vented | v. 发泄；排放；开衩（vent 的过去式和过去分词） adj. 排放的 | |
| scold | v. 责骂，训斥 n. 爱训斥人的人 | |
| protocol | n. 礼仪，礼节；国际议定书，协议；条约草案，（协议或条约的）附件；（协定，公约）修正案（或增补）；（数据传递的）协议，规约；科学实验计划，医疗方案；（科学实验结果的）官方记录 v. 以协议形式发布；拟定 | |
| cryostat | n. 低温恒温器 | |
| calibration | n. 标定，校准；（测量器具上的）刻度 | |
| thin-film | adj. （过程、装置）使用薄膜的；（装置或电路）薄膜的 | |
| superconductor | n. [低温] 超导体 | |
| convention | n. 习俗，惯例；大会，集会；公约，协定；（文学、艺术上的）传统手法，传统风格 | |
| tricks | n. 花招，诡计，骗局；窍门，技巧；戏法，把戏；恶作剧，戏弄；引起错觉（或记忆紊乱）的事物；（纸牌的）一圈，一墩；（特别的）习惯，方式；舵手的一班（一般为二或四小时）；<非正式>嫖客 v. 欺骗，哄骗；（纹章）（用由字母、符号标明的颜色）给（盾形徽章）勾勒轮廓 adj. 骗人的，使人产生错觉的；<美>（身体部位）虚弱的，有毛病的；巧妙的，取乐的 | |
| pretending to know | ||
| pastoral | adj. 牧师的，牧灵的；田园式的，乡村生活的；（教师对学生）生活辅导的，心理辅导的；畜牧的 n. 田园式文学作品；田园景色；牧歌 | |
| pastoral support | 生活支持 | |
| months of effort | 数月的努力 | |
| seriously | ||
| reframe the setback | 重新审视这一挫折 | |
| combination | n. 结合体，联合体；结合，联合；（用于开锁的）数码组合；化合作用；两用（或多用的）物品；<旧>衫裤相连的内衣；组合；<英>附边车的摩托车 | |
| methodological | adj. 方法的，方法论的 | |
| methodological rigor | 方法论的严谨性 | |
| emotional steadiness | 情绪的稳定性 | |
| genuine generosity | 真正的慷慨 | |
| bond | n. 纽带，联系；公债，债券；结合，黏合；承诺，契约；枷锁，桎梏 v. （使）建立亲密关系；与……黏合（或连接） | |
| cooperative | adj. 合作的，协作的；乐于配合的；（企业或其他组织）合作性的 n. 合作性组织 | |
| Cooperative task | 合作的项目 | |
| proximity | n. （时间、空间、关系的）靠近，亲近 | |
| familiarity | n. 精通，通晓；熟悉，亲切感；随便，冒昧 | |
| science-outreach | 科学普及：科学家或科学机构与公众之间的交流和互动，旨在提高公众对科学的理解和兴趣。 | |
| science-outreach days | 科学普及日 | |
| Lego-robotics station | 乐高机器人工作站 | |
| primary school; | ||
| scaffold | n. 脚手架；鹰架；绞刑台 vt. 给……搭脚手架；用支架支撑 | |
| scaffold collaboration | 协作平台 | |
| collaboration | n. 合作，协作；勾结，通敌；合作成果 | |
| turn-taking | 轮流说话 | |
| debrief | v. 盘问（某人，尤指士兵或间谍）；述职；听取报告 n. 盘问，询问 | |
| competitive | ||
| mutual assistance | 相互援助：指在困难或需要帮助的情况下，相互之间给予帮助和支持的行为。 | |
| predictable behaviour | ||
| recess | n. （议会、委员会等政治机构的）休会，（法院的）休庭；<美>课间休息；壁龛，（墙的）凹进处；幽深处，隐蔽处；（思想或心灵的）深处； v. <美>暂时休会，休庭；将（家具，设备）安装在墙壁凹处（或物体表面） | |
| lowers social barriers | ||
| one another | 彼此，互相 | |
| extracurricular | adj. 课外的；工作之外的，婚姻之外的 | |
| gazing | v. 凝望，凝视（gaze 的现在分词） | |
| extracurriculars | 课外活动 | |
| makerspace | n. 创客空间 | |
| a shared objective | 一个共同的目标 | |
| social distance. | ||
| crater | n. （撞击或爆炸形成的）坑，弹坑；火山口；穴，洞；（古希腊用的）调酒碗 v. 在（地面或行星）上形成坑；<美，非正式>失败，突然落下 | |
| Moon’s craters | 月球上的陨石坑 | |
| rapport | n. 融洽（关系），和谐（关系） | |
| build rapport | 建立融洽关系：通过交流和互动建立良好的人际关系，以便更好地沟通和合作。 | |
| set norms | 制定规范：制定一套规范或标准，以便在特定的环境中指导行为或活动。 | |
| structured extracurriculars | 有组织的课外活动 | |
| joint problem-solving and predictable routines create trust | 共同解决问题以及可预见的常规流程能够建立信任。 | |
| turn-taking, giving credit, basic conflict resolution | 轮流发言、给予认可、基本的冲突解决方法 | |
| a small circle of close friends | ||
| serves children better, | 对...更好 | |
| psychological safety | 心理安全感：在工作环境中，员工感到可以自由地表达自己的意见、提出问题、分享想法，而不必担心会受到惩罚、批评或被排斥的一种心理状态。 | |
| secure attachment | 安全依恋：指儿童与其照顾者之间的一种依恋关系类型。在这种依恋中，当照顾者离开时，儿童可能会感到一些不安，但当照顾者回来时，他们能够迅速安抚自己。 | |
| confide | v. 托付，委托；吐露，倾诉 | |
| confide in | 向（某人）倾诉：向某人透露个人和私人的事情。 信任（某人）：对某人有信任感，愿意向其倾诉。 | |
| emotional regulation | 情绪调节： | |
| reciprocity | n. 互惠，互换 | |
| surface-level politeness | 表面的礼貌 | |
| balloon-rocket | 气球火箭 | |
| we mentor pairs during a simple balloon-rocket experiment | ||
| build resilience | 增强韧性 | |
| Ties with parents or relatives | 与父母或亲戚的关系 | |
| Friendships provide status symmetry | 友谊能带来地位上的对等。 | |
| room for identity formation | 身份形成的空间 | |
| practise reciprocity | 践行互惠原则 | |
| reputation management | 声誉管理：一种企业或个人通过监控和影响其品牌形象的过程，以维护和提升其声誉。 | |
| among equals | 在平等的人中间：指在一群人中处于平等地位，没有特殊的地位或优势。 | |
| Family bonds | 家庭纽带：指家庭成员之间的紧密联系和情感纽带。 | |
| are invaluable for attachment and guidance | 对于建立联系和提供指导而言，它们是极其宝贵的。 | |
| inherently asymmetric | 本质上是不对称的 | |
| rehearsed | v. 排练；预演（rehearse 的过去式和过去分词） | |
| get rehearsed | 进行排练 | |
| popsicle sticks | 冰棒棍：一种小木棍，通常用于制作冰棒或手工艺品。 | |
| one on one adult coaching never elicits. | 一对一的成人辅导从来都无法达到这样的效果。 | |
| collaborative problem solving and conflict resolution | 合作式问题解决与冲突解决 | |
| parents can model civility | 家长可以树立文明行为的榜样 | |
| buffers stress | 缓冲压力 | |
| calibrate behaviour | 调整行为 | |
| functions overlap | 功能重叠 | |
| fungible | adj. 代替的；可取代的 n. 代替物 | |
| practise reciprocity | 互惠原则 | |
| longevity | n. 寿命；长寿，持久；持续时间，耐用期限；长期存在，长期供职 | |
| motive, boundaries | 动机，界限 | |
| task-based | adj. 基于作业的 | |
| evaluations | n. [审计]评估（evaluation 的复数） |
| 词汇 | 音标 | 含义 |
|---|---|---|
| evaluations and power dynamics | 评估与权力格局 | |
| power dynamics | 权力动态：指在社会、政治或组织环境中，不同个体或团体之间权力关系的变化和影响。 | |
| tighter disclosure boundaries | 更严格的信息披露界限 | |
| intrinsic interests | 内在兴趣：指一个人对某个事物或活动本身的兴趣和吸引力，而不是受到外部因素的影响。 | |
| affinity | n. 喜好，喜爱；类同，密切关系；亲近感，亲和；适应性，匹配度；（与血缘关系相对的）姻亲关系；亲和力，亲和性 | |
| curated | v. 筹办（收藏品或展品）的展出；组织（音乐节的）演出（curate 的过去式及过去分词） adj. 仔细挑选并展览的 | |
| incredibly supportive | 极度支持：非常积极地支持某人或某事。 | |
| contingent on | 依赖于未来的某些事情才能发生 | |
| the friendship sometimes fades | 这段友谊有时会逐渐淡去 | |
| external friendships | 外部的友谊 | |
| portable | adj. 便携式的，轻便的；可移植的，可在不同计算机上使用的；（变更工作或情景时）可转移的，可随带的 n. 手提式电器；<美>活动教室 | |
| external friendships tend to be more portable | ||
| context-dependent. | adj. [计] 上下文相关的 | |
| external | ||
| Professional boundaries | 专业的界限 | |
| a power asymmetry | 一种权力不对称 | |
| explicit | 清楚明白的，明确的，详述的；直截了当的，坦率的；赤裸裸表现性爱（或暴力）的，露骨的 n. （手稿、早期印刷品或礼拜仪式上唱诗的）结束语 | |
| private favours | 私惠 | |
| special access | 特殊通道：指为特定人群或特定目的而设置的通道或通道权限。 | |
| performance feedback | ||
| whispered | adj. 低声的；耳语的 v. 窃窃私语（whisper 的过去分词）；低声地说 | |
| recuses himself from | 自行退出：指法官、律师或其他官员因为与案件有利益冲突或者其他原因而主动退出案件的处理 | |
| he recuses himself from evaluating her fellowship application | ||
| recuse | ||
| preserves procedural fairness | 维护了程序的公正性 | |
| a mentoring alliance | 一种指导性的合作关系 | |
| psychological safety | 心理安全感：在工作环境中，员工感到可以自由地表达自己的意见、提出问题、分享想法，而不必担心会受到惩罚、批评或被排斥的一种心理状态。 | |
| preferential | adj. 优先的，优待的，优惠的；（投票，选举）表明选择顺序的；（债权人）要求债务人优先偿还的 | |
| employee | /ɪmˈplɔɪiː/ | n. 雇员 |
| employer | /ɪmˈplɔɪə(r)/ | n. 雇主 |
| employ | /ɪmˈplɔɪ/ | v. 雇用；使用，利用；忙于，从事（be employed in） n. 受雇（in the employ of） |
| auditable | adj. 可审计的 | |
| a code of conduct | 行为准则：一套规定和指导个人或组织在特定环境中应遵循的行为规范。 | |